Controlling partners often use subtle manipulation tactics that can distort your self-perception and invalidate your emotions. One of the ways this can manifest is through the dynamics of your sexual relationship.
While not all controlling behavior looks the same, it often unfolds gradually—so quietly, in fact, that it can be hard to spot. Over time, these behaviors can become woven into the fabric of your relationship before you realize their true impact.
One red flag to watch for is a partner who insists on one specific sexual position—such as always doing it from behind. While this can be a consensual preference in a healthy relationship, in a toxic one, it may serve a different purpose. This position can give a partner a sense of physical dominance and emotional detachment, allowing them to avoid eye contact, emotional connection, and intimacy—while maintaining a feeling of control.
If your partner repeatedly ignores your comfort, desires, or boundaries, especially in intimate situations, it may point to deeper patterns of manipulation. Sex should never be used as a tool to assert power or undermine your autonomy.
In a healthy relationship, both partners feel safe, respected, and empowered to express their desires and set boundaries—without fear of judgment or coercion. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, pressured, or emotionally disconnected, your feelings are valid and deserve attention.
It’s also important to examine the larger dynamic of your relationship. Sexual control is often just one piece of a broader pattern of controlling behavior—whether it’s through emotional gaslighting, shifting blame, or consistently ignoring your voice.
Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. Seeking support from a trusted therapist or counselor can help you unpack the situation and make empowered decisions for your well-being.
You deserve a relationship grounded in mutual respect, trust, and emotional intimacy—both in and out of the bedroom.
