The world is constantly evolving, but for some, the pace of change can feel frustratingly slow. This has been especially true for many transgender individuals, who often find themselves having to repeatedly advocate for their identities and perspectives.
While progress is being made, not everyone has fully embraced the importance of respectful pronoun usage. Gender identity remains a divisive topic, and it frequently sparks intense debates and misunderstandings.
A recent incident highlights the ongoing challenges faced by transgender individuals, particularly in sensitive and personal moments. Bennett Kaspar-Williams, a 37-year-old non-binary individual, welcomed their child, Hudson, via cesarean section, with the loving support of their husband, Malik. The birth itself went smoothly, but the journey didn’t come without its hurdles.
Although Kaspar-Williams identifies as male and uses he/him/his pronouns, they currently identify as non-binary and prefer they/them pronouns. Despite this, Kaspar-Williams was repeatedly misgendered by the nursing staff, who referred to them as a “mother” rather than a “father.” This mislabeling was not only disappointing but also offensive to Kaspar-Williams.
Kaspar-Williams, who recognized their transgender identity in 2011 and underwent upper-body surgery by 2014, made the personal decision to not alter their lower body. While the experience of pregnancy and childbirth was fulfilling, the lack of understanding and respect from medical professionals regarding their identity served as a painful reminder of the work still needed for inclusivity and awareness in healthcare.
Despite clearly indicating their preferred gender on medical forms, Bennett Kaspar-Williams was repeatedly misgendered by the nursing staff after the birth of their child, Hudson. This experience has fueled Kaspar-Williams’ commitment to advocating for the understanding that childbirth isn’t inherently tied to one’s gender identity.
Kaspar-Williams stressed the importance of distinguishing womanhood from motherhood, calling for a shift in how society views both. They reached out to a major news outlet to share their discomfort with being repeatedly called “mom,” despite clearly indicating their preferred title on medical forms.
The reality is that we cannot know if having children is possible for an individual until they attempt it—simply possessing a uterus doesn’t guarantee conception or a successful pregnancy. That’s why we must challenge the traditional association of ‘womanhood’ solely with ‘motherhood.’ It perpetuates the harmful belief that every woman can become a mother, that all mothers must bear their own children, or that anyone who carries a child is automatically a mother.
This conversation about gender, parenthood, and identity is one that will likely continue for years to come, with lasting implications for how we think about family and gender roles.
